


Not your time yet

by protectbucky



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, I’m sad, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sad, Steve returns, This Is Sad, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, this is shit, what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 14:25:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14474613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectbucky/pseuds/protectbucky
Summary: INFINITY WAR SPOILERS.Tony lost everything. He grieves.





	Not your time yet

**Author's Note:**

> What the hell is this? I don’t know??  
> I wrote this last night because I couldn’t sleep.  
> Anyway, Peter dies, Tony is sad, and Steve shows up.

“Are you ever scared of dying?” Peter’s voice was weak, and Tony would have even laughed at the question if he wasn’t holding the sobbing boy against his chest in the middle of the night.

“Yeah, sometimes” he replied. “But then I remember it’s natural. Everyone has to go some day.”

“But what if it’s not your time to go yet?” Peter asked, looking up at his mentor’s face. “Whatever, forget it. It’s stupid.”

“No, hey, listen Pete” Tony nudged him. “You’re not the only one waking up from a nightmare at night, okay? I do too. And I would like to say it happens a very few times, but no. It actually happens a lot. But you know what? That doesn’t define me. I get up, drink some coffee, fix some suits, save some lives, kick some ass. I’m still awesome.”

“You said a bad word” Peter said with a chuckle.

“Sorry. I kick butt then. But seriously. You don’t have to worry. As long as I’m around, you’re good. You’re not dying any time soon.”

 

Bullshit. Tony could hear the conversation in his head, clear as day. It was one of those midnight heart-to-hearts, which he wouldn’t talk about the next day. And if anyone asked him, he’d say they weren’t therapeutic at all.

But protecting the kid -his kid- started to feel like an instinct to him, like it’s always been there, always been this way.

That’s why when Peter’s legs gave out, Tony caught him immediately, held him close, already knowing what would come next. He put Peter down on the ground, careful as he can, not wanting to hurt him even more.

“Mr. Stark, I’m sorry.” He watched Peter fade away, turn into ashes. He felt like he’s been watching for an eternity. Then he crumbled, not caring about Earth possibly ending, about the only other survivor on the planet still watching him. He gave himself a moment to let the sadness wash over every cell in his body. He let himself grieve.

Peter’s ashes covered his hand as he held it close to his face, letting his tears fall. This is the end, he thought. Even if he could find a way, if he could figure out how to take that one chance out of 14 million, it wouldn’t mean a thing. The universe wasn’t worth saving anymore, because Peter Parker stopped living in it.

 

A month or so later, he found himself standing next to a headstone that said Peter’s name. The funeral ended an hour ago. Everything was a blur.

This whole thing was stupid. There wasn’t even a body to bury. It was just a simple headstone with a name and a quote. ‘With great power comes great responsibility.’ Peter once mentioned his uncle said that before he died, and Tony thought it would be the right sentence.

“I don’t wanna go. Please. I don’t wanna go.” Please. That single word broke Tony the most. Peter was begging Tony to save him like he’d done many times before, and he just stood there, unable to do anything. He wanted to scream, to grab Peter and take him out of there, back to Earth, where he could see his smile and hear his laugh and know his kid was safe.

But he couldn’t. He knew there was no hope. He knew that the kid was dying. He felt the sadnes creep upon him again. “Kid, please hold on, Peter, you’re okay. You’re good. We’re good. I love you kid. I’ll take you home. Just hold on” he wanted to say, but he choked on his words. He should’ve said it all. He should’ve told the kid everything.

Tony snapped back to reality as panic ran through him. Then he took a deep breath.

“You said you were sorry.” He began slowly. “You apologized. Those were your last words.”

He felt a light breeze in the air as rain started pouring quietly. “What the hell were you sorry for again?” He snapped. “Dammit, kid...”

“I told you I’d protect you. I promised you that as long as you have me, you won’t go, you won’t just fucking disappear...” His clothes became soaked as the rain picked up, but he didn’t care. “Sorry, bad word. But really, kiddo, I’m... I’m the one who should apologize. I never should have brought you into this. I should have done something sooner. I failed you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry..”

Tony fell to his knees, barely able to see from the tears filling his eyes again.

“It wasn’t your time to go yet.”

He lost track of time, sitting in the mud, feeling like he’d never be able to get up on his feet and fight again. Then he felt someone kneeling down beside him.

“I never knew you had a son” a familiar voice said.

“I never knew you could grow a beard” Tony murmured. He heard a sigh in return. “He wasn’t actually my son. He was just damn close to being so.”

“Oh. I’m sorry about him. And about everything.”

A brief silence followed.

“And I’m sorry about Barnes. The Winter Soldier was a bitch, but I’m sure Barnes was a good man. Or okay at least.”

“You never change, do you?” The man chuckled. But Tony just kept staring at the headstone, sitting quietly. “I take it back” whispered the man. “Now I see that you do.”

Then Tony felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on,” said Steve Rogers. “We’ve got a universe to save.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah. Pain is good. Sadness is awesome. I’m a mess.


End file.
